Thoughts on recent homeschooling conference, part two

Before we packed up and drove away from the conference, I wanted to ask my DH Matt to share with me the main thoughts he's taking away from the conference, and I shared mine as well. Here is the overview of what we learned. I still want to review my notes and possibly post even more later on, so check back later if you are interested.

Dad's thoughts:

Not to get so angry & mad at them when they're not doing what they're supposed to do, because they don't like it. You want your kids to like you. The speaker's son wanted to be liked the people who accepted him for what he was, even though he didn't agree with their moral values. Not to drive your kids away, because you can cause them to behave out of self-preservation so they don't get in trouble, but when you aren't there to punish them or see what they do, they'll do what they want and live by their morals and not yours.

Mom's thoughts:

We really have to turn our home, our family, our school, everything, over to God on a daily basis. When we feel like we can't do it, we have to remember that God gives us strength for the tasks, and he'll give us what we need to do it. We can, indeed, do everything through Christ who strengthens us. Also, we really want to do everything we can not to take away that love of learning, as it will carry our children far in life.

From Jeannie, I got to see and hear first hand the value of narration and how well it works for remembering things. It brings to mind how when I have a dream and then the next morning, I tell my DH all about it, I'm more likely to remember that dream for longer, because I put it into words and then heard myself speaking those words. I will now remember that the snakes with pits between their eyes are venomous (not that I would ever get that close) and that you can also determine if they are venomous by their coloring (red on black, poison lack, red on yellow, kill a fellow). You can also tell by the shape of their eyes or something about their bellies, though those two aren't always true and you aren't likely to get close enough to see those anyway.I've always heard the ladies on the FIAR boards talk about narration and just thought I could never get my daughter to do that, but now I see that we can indeed teach her to do this, and it is wonderful and will serve her well in the long run. Children can take tests with true/false, multiple choice, fill in the blank, get 100% right and then not know any of it at the end of the year, though they got A's in the class. I am proof of this. I am convinced if I had to re-take my pharmacy examination, I would fail.
We need to put God first in our lives. After that, we need to put our preschooler first by filling their "love bucket" so they are full and less likely to be disruptive later in the day. It helps to get a special blanket or rug (solid-colored) and some special school "toys" in shoeboxes, and pull out a different box each day, and spend some time "playing" with them, and putting it away as soon as they lose interest (for example, when they get off the rug). Also, it's helpful to do the tasks that require teacher help earlier in the day, when mom/dad aren't so tired and worn out. It might also be useful to do chores AFTER school. Meals, playtime and bedtime are great motivators. Teach your children incrementally a bit more each year about independent learning, as it will make school easier for you in the long run. But, do what God is calling your family to do. Just because one family doesn't use a certain math program because it is too teacher-intensive, doesn't mean that might not be what God would have you do with your family anyway. Make helping your preschooler/baby/toddler an assignment on your other older children's tasks, as something they can do when you are working with other children on the things they need your one-on-one help with. We want to have our children's hearts even when they are old. They will be adults longer in your relationship than they will be children, so we need to remember this in our daily activities, that we want to grow them into adults who love us and will continue to be in our lives as they grow up, and we want to build the relationship with our daughters so we may be the first person they call on when something happens in their lives that they want to share. Children do better with short sessions, before they lose attention. There is no point wasting an hour on a subject. Medical students have actually been shown to learn/retain more from shorter classes more frequently, instead of hour long classes three times a week. Ask them to put forth their best effort for just 15 minutes, and then you will move on from that subject. (We decided to buy our girls timers, so we can give them this responsibility/privilege to keep up with for themselves.)